Apartment Homes

Why in the world am I up at 12:30 in the morning looking for apartments?

Do you ever find yourself so mesmerized by something completely basic in life... just because its on the internet? I'm looking for apartments for my fiance and I when we get married next spring. Not really sure why NOW, but hey I'm at least doing something.

I'm going to go get that glass of water my parents never gave me before bed and try to fall asleep. My ear has been ringing all day.

Actually, I'd like to keep writing, but I have nothing to be cynical about right now. Should that depress me? Maybe. Just for some random association here I suddenly remembered that my roommate likes to let his alarms go off every 5 minutes all morning long as he tries to wake up between 7am and 8:30am. It's interesting, really. There are at least two alarms involved. Usually both operate somewhere between 85 and 90 decibels and last anywhere from 5 seconds to 10 minutes. One is some sort of buzzing thing and the other is the world's smallest/loudest radio. Sometimes they keep going off when he's not here or when he's away for the weekend. Gotta love someone else's alarm going off at 7:30am on your sleep-in weekend (I know, I know... that's late for old people). When I lived in Oklahoma, the papermache walls were so thin in my dorm room that people's alarms going off next door, across the hall, and downstairs woke me up constantly. And that was usually right after I fell asleep from waking up all night as the guy at the end of the hall ran up and down it screaming every night like he was a velociraptor. You know... that reminds me of a velocipede. I think those were those giant wheeled bicycles from the black and white pictures. I just looked up another website for a definition and there was this banner ad of a cartoon family being eaten by what looked to be a staple remover. I stared at it, unmoved for a little bit, then continued on with life (I clicked another web page tab so I could keep writing). I wonder if my reaction may have been different at a time of day my body is capable of expressing emotion. I may have witnessed something that the 1920's would have considered disgusting, heinous, and cruel. But anymore, its just one more cartoon family being eaten by a staple puller.

Ah yes...
So I'm still sitting here... emotionless... squinting into my laptop monitor light... ... ...and stuff...

Ok, goodnight.

Bad Oysters

I had some bad oysters the other night while I was with a customer. We were at a really fancy restaurant overlooking a city. Next thing I know he's in a cold sweat and dribbling puke on the table as he's doing everything he can to hold it back. There's just something intangible there. It's perfectly disgusting, hilarious,random, and empathetic at the same time. I was just shaking my head in disbelief while trying to hold back laughter at the sight of us in this really fancy place (he was getting better after the incident) and then all of a sudden I'm on the verge of puking. I don't know how I didn't, but that would have just been the highlight of the evening. Front page paper material there. "Two people throw up in high dollar restaurant overlooking the city... more on this late-breaking story at 6!"

Bad oysters.

Apparently I'm a Bad Person

I think my life slogan goes something like this:

"No, you didn't say/do the wrong thing/screw up/its not that you don't care... you're just a bad person."

See? It's kind of consoling before you drop-kick them with your amazing cynicistic wit. Spell check tells me that cynicistic isn't a word. Oh well.

So I didn't post in about 300 months - and tons of people keep asking me where the posts are. I used the "got lost in the mail" excuse last time.

The dog ate my blog posts.

I do have some special news for everyone tonight. I'm engaged! .... Ok, shut up. I've heard that joke from you already about 300 times. Wow. It's so amazing! I love my fiance more than I could possibly imagine and I'm so excited about what the future is going to bring us. On another note, my spell-check tells me that fiance should be finance. Classic. Everyone knows that the dating/engagement/marriage period is defined by any term other than finance. It's like anti-finance. Or something.

On another note, I've pretty much stopped traveling during the last several months. I've taken a bit of a promotion at work and they let me work full-time in Madison. Its great! I can see Jen all the time and I'm a much happier person not waking up at 4am every freaking Monday morning. This means that most of my adventures now take place at Wal-Mart and the local Giga-Grocery Store. They're huge! They have a special entire gigantic room just for their alcohol that's bigger than most small-town grocery stores. Booze-R-Us if you will. I found myself walking through Wal-Mart the other day with an internal sit-com running through my mind. You know the little voice like in the movie "A Christmas Story" talking in the background? It was like that as I watched ridiculous human activity at an abnormally hilarious pace. I can't even remember what it was that I saw now, but the residual brain vibes are still with me. Man... it must have been hilarious.

Oh, did I mention that I'm engaged to the most incredible and beautiful woman in the world? It's completely surreal. And then the next second its not. I love it!

Just remember to bring me a nice present :)

I'll be posting more. Hold tight. You won't want to miss this.