Unfortunately, I really don't have anything particularly cynical to offer you this week. Although many interesting, hilarious, and offensive things have happened to me recently, I cannot remember any off the top of my head.
Although I did take a trip in the car today that should have consisted of approximately 4 turns. Key word SHOULD. I missed all of them, and some more than once. At the same time I had worn my new shoes out and it began pouring rain as soon as I started driving. That meant fun for the new shoes once I got out of the car again.
Um... my car is still leaking gas a little. A hailstorm the other night, or rather a series of about FIVE hailstorms, took another big chunk of paint off the car. I didn't sleep at all that night. If the storms weren't pelting my windows with little ice chunks, lightning was hitting the building next door repeatedly. The weather men on tv told me it would be partly sunny today. There was no sun at all and it rained the better part of the day. So much for the old 20% chance, eh? That's what I call a bad forecast. If tv weather men were lemmings and a bad national weather service forecast was a cliff along the ocean... Well, lets just say there'd be a whole lot less Mega Super Doppler 2,000,000 XL1500 with Night Vision or whatever on tv around the country.
For some reason I have a bag of small blueberry bagels sitting on my table next to my computer. I don't even really eat bagels. Someone was giving them away and nobody else wanted them so I felt bad and took the thing that I thought MAYBE I might look at sometime and think... "yeah...". And maybe grab one, bite into it in the car on the way to work, and make a weird face when it reacts violently with the toothpaste flavor in my mouth.
Ok, here's how I name my articles. See the paragraph above? I wrote it, then re-read it about 3 minutes later and thought "that's really weird..." Then I put the weird part into the title to make it intriguing to the common blog reader. And it IS weird. Bagels and toothpaste?
Quiz Time.
I need to solicit some responses from you people. I need you to put the nastiest combinations of foods and toothpaste flavor that you have tried (intentionally or accidentally). Don't put something like "Toothpaste and Orange Juice" 'cause everyone knows that one. Maybe you've tried sauerkraut shortly after brushing your teeth? Hot salsa? Good wine? I've got a few jems, but unfortunately I can't remember the very worst combo I've had. I distinctly recall the experience, but not the food... which means its still out there on the prowl, waiting to strike again.
Knowing is half the battle.
