Tequila and Folded Underwear

Ah... the long awaited Mexico post. I'm sure that three of you were hanging on the edge of your seat for this one. I'm back safe and sound.

Mexico City is possibly the most insane place on the planet. Since I have extremely limited experience in this area and particularly with legitimate out-of-country travel, I will go ahead and declare it "The Most Insane Place on the Planet." Think of it this way... My company sends me into the midst of a city with 20-25 million people (nobody's really sure). Very few traffic lights, no marked traffic lanes. Most highways are roughly 3-4 lanes wide but no speed limits are enforced. At one point, my driver was going 180km/h (something near 113mph) and cracking open beers as we whizzed by a string of ancient pickup trucks hauling unsecured loads down the tollway. Most cars are about 8 feet long so the driver knows where the front and back end of the car are at all times. Thats so you can whip between two other cars moving 80 mph through city traffic if the guy in front of you is going slow or weaving drunkardly (like everyone else).

Oh yeah. And the pollution. I'm sure that you've heard Mexico City lives under a brown cloud of pollution. Well I'm here to tell you that Mexico City lives under a brown cloud of pollution. Everywhere you breathe is like sucking out of the back end of a bus muffler. There are billions of little green VW bug taxis, but I don't think you want to ride in them 'cause someone told us that we'd be abducted or something. We rode in the red ones.

The food down there was unbelievable. It completely destroyed my view of Mexican food in the US. Real Mexican food is just awesome food that comes from Mexico. It may have some spice, it may be made of weird things, but you can be assured... if its really Mexican, its really good.

I climbed two Aztec pyramids outside of Mexico City. The Pyriamid of the Sun and the Pyramid of the Moon. Theres a lot of stairs and if you fall you'll pretty much die so it was kind of cool. I looked around from the top and you can see about a million cactus farms. People eat a lot of cactus in Mexico. No kidding. It was good stuff (no spines, silly). The aloe plants are about 8 feet tall and have branches as thick as your leg. Mexico's prized fruit is the little ball that grows at the end of the cactus plant branch. Its a really sweet fruit called a "tuna" or something like that. I didn't get to eat any, but I almost ate fried worms and ant eggs. Its a central Mexican delicacy.

There are probably about a million other things that I could say. I'll just say its beautiful, polluted, and dangerous. Don't go to Mexico City on vacation. I may randomly remember other hilarious details about my trip (like everyone who saw me instantly assumed that I didn't know spanish and girls on the street were blowing kisses at me. I was a celebrity). I was a foot taller than everyone else. That was kind of funny. My little brother is a foot taller than me. He'd have been like Godzilla, but the Norwegian version and minus the scales. Just ask some questions and stuff. I'll probably randomly interject Mexico stuff into other posts too. You know how things come to mind.

Heheheheheh! I almost forgot the most important part! Yes, I tried Tequila. How can I not try it? They drink it like we do iced tea. The service at my hotel was incredible, too. I basically came back one day to find all of my stuff hung up in the closet and my dirty underwear folded and set out... talk about service... I must have forgotten to put the "please don't remove clothing items from my luggage and hang them up" sign on the door. Thats the latin way. Oh....and don't EVER walk in front of a woman through a doorway in a latin country, even if she's preoccupied and it becomes a quite logical thing to do in the US. You won't believe the dirty looks. You American Scum! (Finally! Chivaly lives somewhere!)

Oh yeah, and Amy Breeding is pretty much the coolest single girl that I know. If interested in more information, please see her agent.

...And go out and see the Johnny Cash movie. Its amazing! In fact, if you're a handsome young college man, take Amy to the movie. She hasn't seen it yet.